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Delusions of Grammar
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Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in ow_my_ears' LiveJournal:

Friday, March 24th, 2006
5:45 pm
Wee Sel Buks
We've all received those comically misspelled "phishing" e-mails, but the fact that this one purports to come from a bookseller strikes me as especially funny.

In order to maintain the integrity of the entire Amazon.com system , our crew members is running an data base update . This decision was taken by the High Executive Beaurau of Amazon.com and it should be followed by all of it's customers .

To follow the procedure just click on the link bellow:


We encourage you to log in and perform the steps necessary to help us in our progres .

Thank you for understanding
The Amazon.com Team

I think the High Executive Beaurau of Amazon.com must be just a few steps below the Star Federation.
Sunday, March 5th, 2006
12:47 pm
Mecha Streisand
The Importance of Balanced Power in Congress by Barbra Streisand

Posted on February 28, 2006

The party that holds the majority in both the House and the Senate controls the entire congressional agenda. Everything from what bills are considered, to how long committees debate them, to whether bills get reported out onto the floor, and finally whether a vote gets scheduled, is all determined by the leadership of both the House and the Senate. In the past, there have been instances when members of congress, in their oversight of the President, were courageous enough, regardless of their party affiliation, to step up to their constitutional obligation to be a check and balance on the White House. In the 1970’s, during the Nixon Adminstration, serious political curruption arose and the Republican leadership stepped up and took responsibilty by holding hearings and subpoening administration officials. Eventually, the President was forced to resign rather than face impeachment preceedings that likely would have been successful. It is clear that today's Republican Congressional leaders are not prepared to hold this President accountable. Therefore, it’s critical that people elect members of the Democratic party to the House and Senate so that a new leadership can take control. Only if this occurs, can we even begin to imagine a time when there will be a myriad of investigations so desperatly needed on so many issues…let alone the ultimate investigation which would involve the conduct of the President of the United States and the determination of whether his actions warrented impeachment proceedings.

What more will it take for the Republican leadership to finally show some integrity and hold Bush accountable for his actions? Our congress, who is supposed to serve as the checks and balances of the executive branch of government, has completely lost their voice. First, Bush ignored clear warnings before 9/11 about an impending terrorist attack. He then lied to the public about the presence of WMDs in Iraq and rushed to unilaterally invade the country after promising to work with the United Nations. Now, more than four years after the worst attack on American soil, Bush and his adminstration have yet to capture Osama bin Laden, the person responsible for 9/11. The Republican majority continued to be silent during the President’s horrible mismanagement of Hurricane Katrina. They turned their back when the President appointed inexperienced inept buddies to the most important government positions. They looked in the other direction when their fellow Republican leaders came under indictment for fraud and corruption. And they continued to do nothing as the President trampled on the American public’s most basic rights by wiretapping phone lines and conducting warrantless searches ouside of the congressionally mandated rules of the Federal Court.

When no one thought that this President could push his luck any further, the Adminstration disclosed that they are in the midst of closing a $6.8 billion deal to give a company owned by the United Arab Emirates management of six American ports. The UAE has ties to the September 11 attacks. In fact, two of the hijackers from 9/11 were from the UAE and money for the Taliban has been laundered through UAE banks. The UAE recognized the Taliban as a legitimate government when the rest of the world turned their back on the regime. And a study by U.S. News & World Report stated in December that the UAE was notorious for its smuggling, money laundering and drug trafficking in support of terrorists. As the Bush administration weathered the outcry from across the political spectrum for this absurd decision, the Administration continues their support by claiming that the UAE has been a valuable partner in fighting the ‘War on Terror’ and that discrimination against foreign companies would be un-American.

But as the coverage continues, the true motives of Bush's position are starting to slip out. If this Administration lies to the American people about the reasons to wage war, the public should expect them to be dishonest about virtually anything. So it is not surprising to find out that the while the Bush Administration is trying to quietly slip this port security deal under the radar, they are simultaneously negotiating a free trade agreement with the UAE. Why be surprised? This President, ‘jokingly’ stated "If this were a dictatoriship it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." Over the last 5 years, Bush’s leadership has resembled that of a dictatorship. The arrogance of this C student who maligns his opponents’ crediblity by calling them flip floppers, is the biggest flip flopper himself! When debating Al Gore during the 2000 presidential elections, Bush spoke against nation building, yet went into Irag a year later to national build…which we now see has resulted in disaster.

This UAE deal once again points out the level of control corporate interests and big business have on this Administration. Its decisions are usually tied directly to the reactions of Corporate America. And the fact that the White House is ignoring its own security experts and reacting so negatively to Congress' opposition clearly sends the message to the American people that free trade and and big business trumps national security and American safety in a post 9/11 world. The Center for American Progress points out that in 2002 the Coast Guard estimated that it would cost $5.4 billion over 10 years to make the necessary improvements to our nation’s ports, and last year only $175 million was appropriated to the program. And only 6 percent of the 9 million containers arriving in U.S. ports are physically inspected by customs agents. Under these weakened security conditions, our country should not be outsourcing the management of 6 major ports to countries with terrorist affiliations.

However, when asked about the UAE deal, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that '[the United States] has to balance the paramount urgency of security against the fact that we still want to have a robust global trading system.” Surely, during war time, when anti-American sentiment is at its highest and terrorist breeding grounds are rampant throughout the Middle East, a ‘robust global trading system’ must not be more important to the President than protecting the lives of the American people.

Heaven knows I'm no fan of the Bush administration. But if semiliterate garbage like this is the best we can marshal against its corruption, incompetence, and sleaze, we're going to be stuck with its ilk for a long time. Ms. Streisand has had enough experience with publicity to realize the importance of the face you present to the world ... and if you present a sloppily written, misspelled letter full of grammatical errors, you're telling the world, "I don't really give a damn about what I'm saying." I've bolded the misspellings and italicized the most blatant grammatical blunders, but I haven't even touched upon the misplaced commas, the mismatchings between number of subject and number of verb, or the convolutions of language so mangled that you'd need several pages to work out just what all the problems are. Streisand is full of clever remarks about the arrogance of C students, but were she in my composition class, she wouldn't even merit a C.
Saturday, March 4th, 2006
2:12 am
I want to become literate ??
I want to write a book ?? Whats the best advice you could give.

Two words: Strunk. White.

Actually, one word: Don't. That's a contraction, and it requires an apostrophe. Periods* go at the at the ends of declarations, question marks at the ends of interrogatives. Until these concepts are as firmly embedded in your head as your medulla oblongata, please postpone your authorial dreams.

* Or full stops, to employ the Brits' wonderful term.
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
1:09 pm
Egg on his face
I have decided to free myself of the yolk that burdens me. -- Chris Rose

Love you, Chris, but if you're overburdened by a viscous substance, it's snot, not the yellow part of an egg.
Monday, February 20th, 2006
9:48 pm
Miss Fortune
From a Chinese fortune cookie:

Your whole family are well.

I wish I could believe it was a misprint for Your whole family ate well, but, sadly, no.
Monday, February 13th, 2006
11:35 pm
Between you and whom?
"Question between you and I," Perry's communications director, Eric Bearse, wrote Sept. 1...

This is an oldie, but I haven't been able to get it out of my head since reading it a few weeks ago. Shouldn't someone with the job title "communications director," even for the governor of Texas, know his pronoun cases?
11:15 pm
And You're No Exception

Must be one of those exclusive restaurants you hear about.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day, unless you are a bitter soul who hates the holiday, in which case I hope you have a good wallow.
9:43 pm
"What we do know is that the eyes of this nation is watching," Boasso said.

I'm so glad this guy has a major hand in the future of our levees. Actually, he's not so bad, just apparently confused about the number of eyes attributable to our nation. (At least three, I should think.)
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